SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself!



2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.


5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives - then you'll be afraid to cough.

7. You only need two tools in life: Duct Tape and WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use the duct tape....

...If it doesn't move and it should, us the WD-40.

There....now don't say that I was never helpful!